Picture me as I am right now …
In my PJ’s (of course, because they are comfortable and worn and old and not at all something sexy), glasses studiously perched on my nose, coffee steaming beside me, head resting in frustration against the palm of my hand. OK, last bit is fully imaginary as I can’t type with one hand upon my head. But I am frustrated, and that is how I picture myself as frustrated.
It has been so long since I have attempted to write on any regular basis. My last flurry was upon returning from Ireland, gifted with a story to tell. I sat down every day and created line after line of sparkling dialogue and witty prose for a few characters who took residence inside my head during that nearly perfect vacation. Sadly, the holidays happened and distracted me … and I have left those utterly divine imaginary people hanging, wondering how on earth I would eventually resolve their issues. (I will, eventually, I promise. Their’s is a story to juicy and desperate not to tell.)
I just quit writing.
I had stopped blogging. I had stopped jotting down lines of poetry that popped into my brain. I stopped writing even emails and letters to people who mattered. I simply quit writing. Creatively, I shriveled up like a bean left too long on the stalk.
Now I am attempting to get back into the “Habit” of writing daily … and I feel topic-less. Irrelevant. Boring.
You know, I find it funny as I think back on the past several months, that, although I did quit writing them down, I never quit having ideas and opinions on things. Especially politics. My darling husband is a dedicated news watcher. (Personally, I am a dedicated news reader. I like to choose what stories are put into my brain. When something catches my attention, I research it to learn what I can. I can’t stand listening to newscasters pontificating about whatever they deem important news. I digress …)
My darling husband is a dedicated news watcher, and try as I might to avoid it, I still manage to catch more of those programs that I would like. I am FILLED with opinions. I used to sit and write about them, get them off my chest, spew them into the universe and let them go! But when I quit writing, I started storing up all those opinions, good, bad and ugly, inside of me. And I began to feel genuinely angry all the time. I’ve noticed an increased intolerance to
ignorance the opinions of others since I have stopped writing down my own opinions. It seems that in order for me to maintain my religion of “Tolerance”, I need to provide an outlet for all those opinions that boil up inside of me.
I am going to briefly try to explain my political beliefs in one short paragraph. This is just an overview, not an in depth study. I am not looking for approval, acceptance, debate or anything else. I am simply laying a foundation for anything I might write from this day forward.
I am a conservative leaning Libertarian. I am a tree hugger who believes that saving the environment and locating local fuel/oil sources are equally important. I believe that this nation’s dependence on foreign oil is crippling us and we need an immediate solution to that problem … which means, while we are researching alternative fuel sources, we also need to be laying down that pipe line and drilling in Alaska. Both at the same time, Pipeline and AK for NOW, to get us out of the Middle East’s clutches, and aggressively researching alternative fuel resources so we don’t destroy the house God gave us to live in. I believe in a smaller, MUCH smaller government. Back the hell out of my life and let me succeed … or FAIL … on my own. Children who never allowed to fail become lazy and complacent … and dependent. Welfare is nice … it means your neighbor is willing to help take care of you. Put a limit on it. I say 5 years is more than enough time to live out of someone else pocket. After that? Well, I guess if you haven’t learned how to take care of yourself by then, you can figure out how to take care of yourself out on the street. And yeah, we are going to drug test the bejeezus out of you the entire time you are on it. Get used to peeing in a cup and giving blood samples. Illegal immigrants are ILLEGAL. I welcome you into my country, I love the fact that my ancestors were smart enough to immigrate here years ago. I am proud of the work they did to follow the rules and become legal citizens. I absolutely offer you the same opportunity they had. Come here and work to become citizens, following the rules and not trying to sneak your way in like a cheat in the back of Algebra. I was taught you don’t earn the grade, you don’t deserve the benefits a good grade offers and that applies to citizenship. If you don’t earn it by following the rules, you don’t deserve to reap the benefits of citizenship in this country. Nor do any kids you whelped on this soil while living here illegally. I am proud to be a white female in this great United States of America. If it is OK for you to be proud of your ethnicity, then it should be perfectly fine for me to say the same thing. Being proud of being white doesn’t make me any more of a racist than being proud of being black/brown/yellow/purple/whatever makes you one. And I should not have to be ashamed of my heritage. I am not ashamed of yours, I am not ashamed of mine. Stop pulling that lousy race card every time you don’t like an opinion that differs from your own. Stop searching for racism where it isn’t. Not every remark or action is race based. It’s just an opinion that might differ from yours. Yes, their are bigots in our world, and they suck. But they come in EVERY color, religion and race. If you don’t like them, don’t be one.
Boy, that paragraph is far from a short little synopsis. However, it got me started. For someone who was struggling to write, I sure managed to jot down a few words and opinions. It’s still just an introduction into the mind of me. And there will be much more to come. For now though, I think that’s enough.