Ahh, the smells waft through the air – turkey, pie, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, pie, squash, green bean casserole, pie, rolls, did I mention pie? It’s the one day a year when American’s can justify letting out their waistbands and diving into a plate full of deliciousness. That day when it is “OK” to eat the forbidden full fat foods AND have 2 different varieties of dessert.
Of course, it is also allowed the next day because … well, LEFTOVERS. Day 3 in our house is traditionally turkey soup day (make that carcass work!) and Day 4, the guilt sets in. Reality. It’s the day before returning to work, to life, to normalcy … to dieting.
God, I hate that word.
(So, before I forget, I read an outstanding article this morning that I want you to take a look at, especially starting at paragraph #10 and on …)
Thanksgiving is also the time when most of us get to face family and deal with criticisms or unintended hurts. (Sometimes, possibly intended hurts as well, sadly.) I do not happen to live near any members of our family, so thankfully I have been able to avoid much of what I hear others go through. We have a group of friends that get together every year, instead. We call it “The Family We Choose Thanksgiving”. You know …
This year, and please know I understand it was completely innocent and an unintended hurt, one of my chosen family members dropped a little bomb that left a dent.
I have been trying to get the group interested in playing a game of football after we eat, thrown the suggestion up for weeks, but with not one bite from the rest of the group (3 adult males, 3 adult females, 3 teen children, 1 pre-teen and 2 elementary aged). My son bit a little, I guess, but he was the only one. I gave up the apparently crazy notion and settled in beside the rest of the adults to watch football on TV instead.
While we all sat there, drowsy in our food coma’s, one of my friends (adult female) remarked about how lazy eating like that made one feel and I commented that this was indeed one of the reasons I really wanted us all to run outside and work off some of that meal in a fun game of football, to which she commented …
“blah, blah, blah … yeah, but the only person here who is bigger than me is, like, you, so that is just not happening … blah, blah, blah …”
(I insert the blah blah’s because I have no idea what she said before or after that one sentence. It completely obliterated absolutely every other word in the conversation.)
I mentally looked around the room and, yep … I think she is right. Well, maybe her husband is pretty damn close and she can’t be all that far behind me, but still … yep. I probably am the biggest person in the group.
Now, I can come up with all kinds of little things to make myself feel better: I am stronger than ALL of them, with maybe the exception of my husband. (However, I am gaining ground on him weekly.) I work out more than ANY of them and I ate the least of any person in the room, well, except for the 2 elementary aged girls. I had one serving of dessert, the least caloric (apple crisp due to it being Gluten Free). I know that I am “fitter” than most of the people in the room, but that doesn’t negate the absolute truth that I am fat and I am probably the fattest person in our group of friends.
As I stated earlier, I know the hurt was unintentional and that is why I did not get upset. But let me tell you, by golly, I am determined that particular statement will NEVER be able to be used about me again. By next summer, when we are all together camping & kayaking, I will be down at least 50 lbs. By next Thanksgiving I will have lost the entire 70-80 that needs to go. Next year, when we look around the room, someone else will be “the biggest person here”.
Not me. Never again.
So I have a plan and a template and I started it this morning, to the best of my ability (I need to go shopping for some more greens, but everything else is on target.) I am even here, writing about it, which is a big part of my journey. When I write, I hold myself more accountable. I have a plan, I will execute it.
And, OK, there is a small, evil part of me that is looking forward to having HER be the biggest person in the room. But I will never speak those words out loud. I will simply replay the Turkey Day conversation in my head as many times as it takes to keep me motivated for the journey.
I like a little “healthy” competition, don’t you? Even when the opponent is completely oblivious. Sometimes, especially when the opponent is oblivious …