My intestines are crap.
I have been sitting here, with all these other, more interesting, and definitely less disgusting, things to write about … and all I can think about is my intestines and how much they just suck. And hurt … a lot, right now. For the past several days, actually. To the point where it is all I can think about.
It’s messing with my Merry.
I don’t know what I ate that was disagreeable, how I managed to get myself “gluten-ed” this time. Unless this is still fall out from the Danish I devoured over a week ago … come to think of it, it is probably that.
It’s like this all the time, in case you wondered. I deal with serious pain almost every day of my life in the gut region of my body. I spend too much time trying to back track what I ate, where and how I might have contaminated myself. I didn’t start out quite so sensitive, however, as time has passed and I have accidentally or (surely not!) knowingly and willfully eaten something on the forbidden list, my sensitivity has gotten significantly worse.
This past week has been so constant that it is also leeching out my energy. Some of this is most likely due to the inflammation and damage interfering with my bodies ability to get any nutrients. Some of it may be that it is exhausting to be in perpetual pain. The bright side is … I find my desire to fall off my wagon into a big pile of soft, warm bread to be waning considerably. I have been eating more vegetables as snacks than crackers or chips. I was the designated driver of the family at Saturday’s Game Night with Friends and drank only seltzer water. I am actively thinking about ways to make eating super clean more convenient. For example, a huge fridge clean out and reorganizing is on the agenda this week. I was working on Christmas gifts at a friends house and she broke out the chocolate. Even though it is not on the “DO NOT” list … I still limited myself to just a couple of mints.
I am quite sick of being in pain. And absolutely FINISHED with being fat.
I truly didn’t intend to write about the woes of suffering from Celiac today … but I am very grateful that I have a place to write all the things I don’t say. I can’t hide it from everyone, but I definitely try not to let my gut issues permeate every conversation and change the subject as quickly as I can when it comes up. But, some days I need to talk about the pain.
Aren’t you glad you chose to read this? (Tomorrow will be better …)