Physical Rundown: Exhausted. Crampy. Bloaty. Hungry. Nauseous. Weak.
Emotional Rundown: Angry. Disgusted. Frustrated.
Motivational Rundown: Cautiously Optimistic.
One of these things is certainly not like the others! (Humming the Sesame Street song right now. Join me?) I can explain that (I think). All of the physical is causing the emotional and the emotional is a very clear depiction of how I feel about myself right now. I am angry, disgusted & frustrated with myself. All 3 have been huge motivators in the past for me to make significant changes in my life. I am cautiously optimistic that the same will be true this time around.
Without question, I have been a perfect little eater. Ignore the fact that I have no choice in the matter. I actually feel confident and enthusiastic about maintaining this level of discipline. Right now the lure of unfriendly foods is far less enticing than the possibility of painlessness. i know me. I know this changes. At some point in the future I will start to think “Why me? It’s not fair! I want to eat <insert some delicious forbidden food item here>, too!!”
But life isn’t fair is it?
I’ve mentioned before that my son suffers from dysgraphia. (Link takes you to a description in case you are new to the blog.) This past Friday, at our neuropsychologist appointment, we as a family had a long discussion about why he has to still try hard and do his best in school. How everyone has something they struggle with, whether visible or invisible. Although it may not seem accurate, there is no such thing as a perfect person and even those who seem to have it all and life (appears to) go very easily for them … even they have something they struggle with. The trick is never, ever, EVER giving up. There is a way around every problem and oftentimes those who struggle the hardest around an obstacle find a way to make it a strength.
It has become very clear to me that I need to be a shining example to him of how to overcome the adversity of a struggle that sucks and is simply not fair. I have an opportunity to prove to him that anyone can overcome crappy circumstances. Even dear old mom.
If I don’t make these changes I simply re-enforce to him the impossibility of it all. I WILL NOT DO THAT.
So, there is cautious optimism on the daily report. Light at the end of the tunnel. Bright visions of a future ahead. 2015 will be my year. I will do WHATEVER it takes to make that truth.