There’s ALWAYS an obstacle.

As is par for the course of my life, I just get going good and something major pops in to mess up all my well laid plans.  It’s almost comical, actually.  I was reading an entry I made 8 years ago in a blog I kept through my last major weight loss effort and in it was talking about some back problems I was experiencing.  I remember that well, my push through or die trying attitude, learning how to pull back on the workouts when necessary to let my body heal,  During that journey, about a month later, I would be forced again into rest mode due to rotator cuff surgery.  I would go on to injure my knee in a race.  Then my dad got cancer and life got upended.

There’s always going to be obstacles along the path to whatever I am trying to achieve.  I guess the lesson I am meant to learn is perseverance.  Evidently, I haven’t yet mastered it, because the Great Educator is still trying to teach me.

(BTW, down 16 lbs from when I started this program almost 3 weeks ago.)

Sunday, after I finished my lunch (salad, with leftover steak from the previous nights meal) … I was suddenly struck with sharp pain in my upper jaw, left side.  Excruciating pain.  I assumed it was tooth ache issues and rushed upstairs to brush and floss and apply numbing gel.  The pain didn’t lessen, so I eventually started taking ibuprofen to deal with the pain.  It didn’t really touch it.  I started rubbing my CBD cream (topical muscle relaxer, pain reliever of super strength) on the side of my face, all along my jaw line.  I eventually got it to a tolerable level.  I took sleeping pills in order to sleep in spite of the pain.  Monday morning, I woke and it was still there.  *sigh*  So I made an appointment with my dentist for the following morning (Tuesday) and spent the entire day alternating 1200mg ibuprofen with 1000 mg acetaminophen, massaging the jaw with CBD and applying the numbing gel along the inside gum line, upper and lower.  I couldn’t eat much, a little broth, some cottage cheese.  Even water was difficult, but I tried to at least get that in.

Tuesday rolls around and I head into the dentist office.  After x-rays and some tapping on my teeth he tells me it’s “not my teeth” and has no idea what it might be.  Maybe something they can’t see.  Refers me to a specialist and sends me on my way.  Oh, and tells me I am taking too many pain killers.  No shit, Sherlock.  I am not a pill taker.  I hate them, but this is how I am surviving.  This pain is the worst I have experienced EVER.  His assistant and my hygienist  talked to me about other possibilities, neuro-muscular, TMJ, an infection in the jaw somewhere … and armed with that I left to go start scheduling things.  And work, because I still have to work, through the pain.  Just keep the drugs flowing.

Today, I will see my GP and hopefully she will tell me its an ear infection or something along those lines.  My lymph nodes are decidedly swollen, as is the entire left side of my face.  My thyroid swollen as well.  I am hoping beyond hope that it is some sort of deep ear infection.  There are other alternatives that aren’t pretty.  Or funny.  I do have an consult scheduled with an endodontist on Thursday, but I am hoping the GP can figure it out and I can cancel that meeting.  Seriously, what I need here is Dr. House.

I have pain today.  I took my pain pills and all my supplements, along with my bullet proof coffee.  I will figure out SOMETHING to eat.  Broth and cottage cheese and scrambled eggs is getting old.  But the not being able to chew much is kind of killing me.  Still, the scale continues to go down, so there is a silver lining.  It’s just probably not the most ideal of circumstances.  I am not getting my veggie nutrients in for certain.

Yesterday, I was starving and all I wanted was food that would be easy to eat and would taste great.  Potato soup, clam chowder, cream of Broccoli … anything with flavor.  I have chicken and vegetable soup, but its hard to eat because I can’t just swallow it.  I may try blending some today and trying to eat it that way.  Kind of weird, but I am beyond caring.

The good news is, I didn’t give in.  I was tempted, but did not give in, Even when extremely hungry, and in pain, and beyond caring, I still stuck with the plan and the scale is still moving down.  Not sure I can do it forever, if they don’t find a cause for this or provide relief for the pain, but for now, I am hanging strong.  I’m trying to be positive, although I keep thinking “oh crap. its cancer”.  Fatalist in me popping up its ugly head.  the real me is just putting her head down and one foot in front of the other, hoping its just an infection and today will provide the relief I have been begging for.


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